Shoppers piled baskets high with wine and champagne at Marks & Spencer stores yesterday during an emergency 20-per-cent-off sale. As the high street retailer slashed prices to fight the slump, consumers did their entire alcohol shopping for Christmas in one go, and others snapped up luxury gifts such as cashmere jumpers with one-fifth off the price.

– The Independent, UK

So, it’s the same all over then.  Even the UK is feeling the holiday slump…  I don’t know why that surprised me, except that I like to blame all of the  economic crises on GW Bush.  

Our family decided to exchange among kids only this year.  TheMayor’s parents love Christmas, but they decided that we all have everything we need and they’re right, absolutely.  So, Christmas shopping is relatively stress free this year.

Except for the sneaky gifts.

TheMayor came home from shopping yesterday and showed me his purchases — work clothes, Dockers, etc.  Then he said, “I also got a few things for the kids to give me for Christmas.”

What the tinsel??

“Yeah, you can show them what the things are and let them wrap them and I’ll act surprised.  I think it’s important for them to go through the exercise of giving us gifts out of, you know, respect.”

Hm.  Well, I guess we already lie to them about the diabetic grampa in a red suit Santa, so what’s one more fib?

He came around the corner with his not-gifts.

“It’s a fedora!” he flipped it up on his head ala Frank Sinatra.  Or, Michael Jackson, depending on your taste level.

Wow, that’s quite a look.

Next came a suede jacket.  That one was actually nice, except I can’t think of one single occasion when he would ever need one.

Of course, I told him both items were perfect, because — you know — it’s Christmas!  Little red lies.  Little red lies wearing fedoras, in this case.

PS - Don’t worry, I only tease.  The hat and jacket were both nice, it was just funny to watch him prance around with his purchases because he’s so used to wearing his frat boy leftovers.  I should talk, as I sit here in my Target t-shirt and yoga pants.  Tim Gunn would be, “perplexed.”

Tags: deep thoughts, holidays, politics // Add Comment »

In ten days I will be at the MGM Grand in Vegas to see The Jonas Brothers, because… my kids want to go.  Yeah, that’s right, my kiiiids.  Yeah…  I’m driving 10 hours to see them for the kids.  Because I’m cool like that.  Santa calls and asks me for tips.  Regularly.  I am a sacrificial lamb… parentally speaking…

“Joe, why are you wearing a helmet?”  ”Why aren’t you wearing a helmet?”  ”Good point.”

Tags: celebritoxic // 4 Comments »

Updated to Add:  I found FIVE of the items on Tim’s list today, on sale plus 10% off, plus a $10 off coupon code.  I rule the fashion world... 

OK, back to the Tim Gunn Experiment. Let’s review. So far we have cleaned out our closet and drawers to toss the old and uglies; gone bra shopping to avoid the muffin back; had our hair brought up to date, cleaned out any old and outdated makeup; and now we’re ready to buy the right clothes.

I don’t know what the right clothes are. Thankfully, Tim is giving us some guidelines. According to Mr. Gunn, everyone should have ten essential wardrobe items. Drumroll, please…

1. Basic Black Dress 
2. Trench Coat 
3. Dress Pants 
4. Classic Shirt 
5. Jeans  
6. Any Occasion Top  
7. Skirt 
8. Day Dress 
9. Jacket  
10. Sweatsuit Alternative  

Bonus: One Indulgent Trendy Item

Now, no one is going to just go out and start from scratch, so I have a few of these items and I won’t worry about them — but I learned the hard way about the black dress.  We were going out to Fleming’s for TheMayor’s birthday last month, I pulled out my black dress, and — it looked terrible.  I think I bought it when my arms weren’t so poofy.  I mean, it looked OK but I seriously could not raise my arms because the sleeve was too small.  Damn sleeves.  So, the not-so-little black dress is on my list.

The trenchcoat is one I’m looking forward to buying — hides a lot of sins and makes me feel like Inspector Gadget, I’m so totally in.  I think the trenchcoat is my first priority.

I went to Macy’s website, searched on trenchcoat, and sorted by price — then went back and sorted by most popular, so I could find something good at a good price.  I found this one by Steve Madden but I didn’t order it!  They are having their big sale tomorrow, so I’ll buy it then at a discount.  I also Googled “macys promotion code” and found plenty of codes for free shipping.

Tim would be so proud…

Don’t be skeered — I order EVERYTHING online, because I hate shopping, and it always works out.  With a store like Macy*s I also know that I can return the item at the store pretty easily if I want to.  Like I want to be there tomorrow at the crazy “hey I saw that first” grabfest?  No, thanks…

Tags: TV, spendy // 3 Comments »

TheMayor is a safety guy.  We have a friend who calls him, “Officer Buckle.”  

His safety rules have trickled down to the kids.  They wear helmets when they ride bikes, safety goggles when they mow the lawn, and padding everywhere when they have sporting events.  I am the reckless one in the family.  I have been known to run with scissors, and I am the one most likely to injure myself by taking a shortcut.  One of the hardest things for TheMayor to do is watch me paint.  No taping, no plastic on the furniture, I just fly without a net.  I am WILD like that.

So, today was our son’s first basketball game.  We both wanted to go, but TheMayor was angst ridden about a turkey he had planned to cook for dinner.  How could he possibly go to the game if there was a turkey in the oven?  He decided to put the turkey back into the fridge and make it another night.

I reminded him that we have an oven that will just shut off after the designated cook time.  I mean, a turkey cooks for five hours and we were only leaving for one.

You would have thought I’d suggested he dismantle a bomb.

“You can’t just GO AND LEAVE a turkey!” he said, wild eyed and foaming…

“Why not?”

“Why not?  WHY NOT?  What if something happened?!”

“Like what?”

“Like what?  LIKE WHAT?  Like the house burning down, that’s what!”

“So you’re saying the turkey could self combust.  The turkey could explode into a fireball and burn the house down.”

“Yes!  It happens all the time!”

“But that’s with the deep fried turkey things, not an oven at low-temp for roughly 30 minutes.”

We had leftovers.

More on the Tim Gunn Experience tomorrow, I didn’t make it to the shopping I had planned for today. Too busy eating cheesecake and watching basketball. And not eating turkey.  Thank God we’re safe…

Tags: I'll eat anything., video // 6 Comments »

So, I had the big, “I’m 40″ salon experience this morning… It was time to cut off a few inches of hair and get on with the Tim Gunn experience.     

Tomorrow we begin to shop for Tim’s 10 essential items, stay tuned…  Meanwhile, check out Makeover-O-Matic.

PS -  I’m not the only one with a new ‘do — check out Shannon at 8 Crazy

Cut by Mona at Changes in Walnut Creek, a tattooed Mrs. Scissorhands.  My hair has never felt lighter or easier to manage, she was great!  Plus, she does that temple-massage shampoo thing.  Ahhhh…

Tags: Random, TV, linky love, photos, spendy // 7 Comments »

We used to be pretty social people.  If we weren’t at someone’s house for dinner, they were at ours — and our kids went along for the ride.  Now?  You can find us at soccer parties, in bounce houses, negotiating playdates, chaperoning middle school dances, or carpooling to a youth group event.

The balance of power has shifted.

Our oldest, at a celebration for her Kindergarten teacher…

Our babies, fresh from a playdate…

Our son, in the midst of soccer playoffs…

As I write this post, we’ve just returned from various events in every direction.  We are all in separate rooms, decomposing decompressing…

The portrait of an American Family.  I think cocktail hour will have to wait a few years.*

* OK, you knew that was for effect right?  Because cocktail hour is completely flexible around here, and yes I can meet you for a sangria in 15 minutes.  Just let me grab my coat…

Tags: Random, deep thoughts, photos // 1 Comment »

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat…

OK, cut the jingle:  we need some serious Yuletide Assistance.  ThatGirl is on the case, stay tuned:

1. This is a bigee.  You MUST visit my friend Soliloquy at her blog, She Just Had to Say It, to read about her Christmas nightmare.  Her husband, Spin, is really doing a number on her and it is sad hilarious.  Be sure to read all of her recent posts, because she’s doing a series of passive-aggressive giveaways you won’t want to miss.
2. Now go to Martha’s House and sign up for her Christmas Workshop.  You can sign on for automated emails and receive the cookie of the day or craft of the day to help you get ready for the relatives…  Even if you’re not a Martha fan, her website is beautiful and I think you’ll have fun over there.
3. Order your Christmas cards.  I’m a fan of Tiny Prints, and if you enter HOLIDAYSHIP49 at checkout, you’ll get free shipping on orders over $49.  I did a card with 3 photos on the cover and it is one of our best, I highly recommend them.  There are other discount codes listed right there on the site, so keep your eyes open.
4. Now it’s time to venture out to the online malls, so let’s head to Kohl’s big sale on Friday (14th) and Saturday (15th) for a 15% discount by entering NOV15PASS at checkout.  You’ll also get free shipping on orders of $50 or more.
5. I have four kids, and I’m in the mood to buy something fun and funky for each of them, so let’s grab our Kohl’s bag and the cookie from Martha’s place and head to the Olliebollen 5 Day Sale.  We’ll save 15% on everything we can cram into our shopping cart, so everyone drink your coffee on the way.
6. Time to get organized with all of these gifts we’re buying.  MomAgenda is offering free holiday printables to help you keep track of gifts given, cards written, etc.  We like free
7. Enough about kids, let’s get something for ourselves now at my absolute favorite store, Ballard Designs.  Free shipping on orders of $50 or more through the 17th.  Ballard is that store I go to for some “wow” factor when the house needs a lift.  Like now.
8. Let’s NOT buy giftcards this Christmas.  Why?  Well, stores like Mervyn’s, Circuit City, Ann Taylor and more are closing their doors in some locations.  You don’t want to give someone a card they won’t be able to use.  TheMayor recently forwarded me an email with a list of about ten stores on the way out.
9. Foster “free” fun in your family.  I’m a fan of cookie exchanges, Christmas caroling and driving around to look at Christmas decorations.  Just don’t put those decorations up before Thanksgiving…
10. Spread cheer in the Blogosphere.  Have a discount code to share?  Money saving tip?  Organizing idea?  Post it on your blog or in the comments of this post.  KumBaYa, people.

Disclaimer:  I am just spreading the good news, I do not receive compensation from any of the above companies.  Dammit.

Tags: deep thoughts // 3 Comments »

Where have I been?  What am I up to?  What am I wearing?  These are the questions tearing you up inside.  I have answers.

The election, while awesome?  Left me exhausted.  I mean, the emotional high of Obama winning and then the low of Prop 8 and the blisters from all of that Twittering and Facebook?  ThatGirl is a ragged noodle.  Anyone else feel that way?  Tell me I’m not the only one eating my feelings.

So, there is light at the end of the Prop 8 tunnel.  My dear friend Kelly, from high school, became engaged to her longtime girlfriend over the weekend.  I think there is an underlying optimism in the gay community as they come through their understandable mourning/anger and realize that they will overcome.   I am happy for Kelly and I will be at her wedding and/or support her in any way she needs me, whether her marriage is recognized by the state or not.  She will become a stepmom to two sweet kids who adore her, and I know their lives are better for it.

You may have heard about the new ruling in Arkansas:  gay parents will not be approved for adoptions in that state.  As an adoptive mom who went halfway across the globe, TWICE?  I consider myself an expert and I cry, FAIL.  EPIC FAIL.  Just as in China, the kids are the ones who suffer as they wait for a family.  That is not to belittle foster parents, because I think a lot of fostering situations are terrific; but in the end there are more kids who want and need homes than there are families able to adopt them.  To close the door on gay individuals just sounds petty to me.  My husband and I felt scrutinized enough during the adoption process, I cannot IMAGINE what it must feel like to have no shot at all.

See, it hasn’t been so bad NOT hearing from me.  I’m a bitter little pill these days.

One thing I found amusing this morning was the sight of Barack and Michelle Obama arriving at the White House.  We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve smack-talked someone and then been confronted, but to have that on the global scale that Bush-Obama are dealing with?  AWK-WARD…  I also thought it was amusing that they were dressed alike.  Both had dark suits with the exact same color tie.  My daughter thought it might be tradition, but I don’t know about that one.  I’ll leave it to the fashion blogs.

OK, let’s all go take a nap now.

Tags: adoption, politics // 3 Comments »

I have to say, election day left a sour taste in my mouth.  I guess that’s what “bittersweet” tastes like… but in this case, the bitter is completely overshadowing the sweet.

It’s about Prop 8.

My family is third generation Californian, it’s all I know, and my husband was born and raised here as well.  I am so proud of California’s diversity, activism, and leadership in culture and media.

So what the crazy happened last night??  

When I woke up this morning, the newspaper, Twitter, facebook — you name it — was reeling with the news that Prop 8 was passing.  For those of you living under a rock with Sarah Palin, here is a definition of Prop 8 from Wikipedia:

Proposition 8 is an initiative state constitutional amendment on the 2008 California General Election ballot, titled Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry.^[1][2]If passed, the proposition would “change the California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry in California.”^[3] A new section would be added stating “only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California.”^[3]

Now, I think this proposition comes apart at the seams the minute you actually meet a committed gay couple.  Why?  Because they’re just like you and me.  They want the same things.  They have jobs, they pay taxes, they oftentimes have or want children.  They shop at Pottery Barn…  You see what I’m saying.

I was just floored that this could pass in the great state of California.  We have Ellen Degeneres, for God’s sake.

I was deliberate when I said we have Ellen, “for God’s sake,” because I cannot believe for a SECOND that this passed for ANY reason other than the pressure the churches put on their congregations to vote Yes.  A church I rarely attend sent me a lengthy email urging me to vote “biblically,” which they went on to define as a vote for McCain and Prop 8.  

Wha-huh?

What happened to the separation of church and state?  What happened to tolerance, and love, and compassion and the woman at the well?  Casting stones in 2008?  Really?  Really??

Here’s the good news.  After this mourning period, the gay community will start putting the wheels in motion to rescind this outcome.  Remember how impossible it once was to imagine a black President?  Well, today he is selecting his cabinet.  Change takes time, and sometimes a long time — just ask Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks.  OK, yes:  change can be scary — but we have to set our fears aside and support one another.

I want to apologise to the gay community of California.  We have failed you.

What’s the difference between a Pig wearing Lipstick and you?  Well, you leave comments of course.  Silly.

Tags: TV, celebritoxic, deep thoughts, politics, video // 15 Comments »

Tags: deep thoughts // 2 Comments »

My maternal relatives are from Canada.  Victoria BC, to narrow it down.  I’ve never been there, but the photos are nice.  Michael J. Fox is from Canada, I like him…  I think I would like living there, depending on tomorrow’s election results.

I’m afraid to turn the TV on tomorrow, because this Presidential Race is too close to call.  I know Obama is favored, but let’s not forget Al Gore and the hanging chads.  We have to be ready for anything.

It’s not McCain I’m worried about.  I know he is qualified, even if he’s not my first, second, or even third choice.  It’s Governor Palin that concerns me.  I think she’s about as qualified as I am, and that’s not a good thing.  I am still bitter and insulted that the Republican Party felt they could just “replace” a woman for a woman. Sarah Palin is not Hillary Clinton.  She’s not even qualified to drive Hillary’s car.

Hillary was the one I really wanted.  I had a hard time hopping on board the Obama train…  but now that I’m here, I can hardly stand the thought of the Dems losing tomorrow.

O Canada!

Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Tags: deep thoughts, palin, politics // 7 Comments »

Remember when I posted about Alec Baldwin on the View?  And you know how I call Elisabeth Hasselbeck out every chance I get??

Well, I don’t want to scare you, but I think SNL is reading this blog.  Check out the clip:

See what I’m saying? I’ll be looking for that residual check in the mail, Lorne Michaels!

Tags: TV, celebritoxic // 5 Comments »

I opened the door to a lot of great Halloween costumes last night.  We had ladybugs, princesses, a really good Joker of the Heath Ledger variety, some nerds, a Sponge Bob…  and then as the night wore on, we had teenagers.

A group of three teen boys came to the door and we had this exchange:

Me:  Uh, Oh!  Here come the teenagers

Boy:  Do you like our costumes?

Me:  Love them

Boy:  Do you know what I am?

Me, looking at his sleeveless shirt, bandana and fake mustache:  A Jonas Brother?

Boy: No!  I’m an illegal alien!  An immigrant worker!

Me:  Door close

What in the name of border control was THAT about?

Then, this morning, I opened up the SF Chronicle and saw an entire article about teens protesting Illegal Immigration Law.  Now I don’t know if the kid was an activist, or an a-hole.  Motives unclear.

Reading a bit further, I found this:  

Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama said Saturday he didn’t know his aunt was living in the United States illegally and believes that laws covering the situation should be followed.

So, as it turns out, the kid was unintentionally topical.  Huh.  Now I wish I had worn my Heidi Klum costume:

I could so totally pull that off.

Blog title shamelessly lifted from a Phil Collins song.  Now, leave a comment, or I will send Heidi Klum to shrink your head.

Tags: celebritoxic, holidays, movies, politics // 3 Comments »

Barack Obama can make a speech, and no one can argue with that — no matter which “side” you’re on.  Even so, when I heard he had purchased air time for a 30-minute campaign commercial, I was nervous.  Why mess with a good thing?  I knew the Republican campaign Elisabeth Hasselbeck would pick it apart, line by line.

But, I was wrong.

The spot was genuinely inspiring.  Here are some comments from Twitter just after it aired:

• onedashone: I’m not taking my Obama sticker off my car until he’s sworn into office. For his 2nd term.
• tamast: @lordtrilink I watched obama too (and the choice ‘08 frontline is great too btw). and i’m motivated, no compelled, to finally vote.
• mygalmeg: @BarackObama The Obamamercial made me cry! All the stories & the people are so much like me. There’s a reason I’m a Democrat & Obama is it.

“I will not be a perfect President, but I can promise you this…  I will listen to you when we disagree… and I will open the doors of government, and ask you to be involved again.”  – Barack Obama

Tags: Random, TV, politics // 6 Comments »

No, this post is not about bulemia. Apologies to all the Supermodels in the house…  It’s about THIS kind of binge:

…  and THIS kind of purge:  

 I’ve been watching Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, and I decided it was time for a little, “Beautician, Heal Thyself.”  He always starts each episode by asking the victim to go through her closet and find a handful of items she couldn’t live without.  For me, that consists of two pairs of jeans, T-shirts, and any kind of sweater or shirt that covers my upper arms.  Shoes would be thongs, and on a big night out I would wear thongs with a heel…  awesome.

OK, so there were tons of clothes I never wear and shoes I can’t walk in, so those got the toss.  I even went through my underwear drawer and had a talk with myself about the bras that don’t fit.  You know, the ones you put on and your back fat just ’shrooms right over the top?  Yeah, that’s what the sweater jacket is for.  By the way, I know Victoria’s Secret:  You can’t wear her stuff after 30.

Anyway, I remembered my BFF Oprah Winfrey had suggested Wacoal bras, so I ordered one today and we’ll see what we get.  I’ll let you know when it arrives.  I found free shipping and a bra on sale BTW, I just had to do the old internet search…  wacoal + sale + free shipping.  On Tim’s show, his assistant takes the victim to a Beverly Hills bra fitter — the same woman who styles J-Lo.  On ThatGirl’s blog we have to do what we can and hope for the best, with a good return policy.  That’s just the way we roll.

I’ve made it through my dresser and shoes, and plan to try on everything in my closet with the help of my painfully honest teenage daughter.  I don’t think I’ll have much left when I’m done, but that’s the point.  Tim wants me to have a few basics that take me from day-to-night.  I spend my days doing laundry, and my nights watching reality TV, so I’m golden.

What’s in your closet that you can’t do without?

Don’t skimp on comments.  It’s been proven that the more comments you leave, the better your bra fits.  I would totally not lie to you.

Tags: Random, TV, celebritoxic, charity, linky love // 5 Comments »

Sculptor Ray Villafane carved these incredible pumpkins…

This one is from the movie ”Carrie,” and shown on Extreme Pumpkins…

... and here is the awesome Dora Pumpkin I carved in 2006, never to be outdone.  I got the template from Nick Jr.

What will YOU be creating this year??

Make comments before the moon rises… otherwise, I can’t be blamed for any suspicious facial hair you find in the morning.  Hooooooowwwwlll…

Tags: linky love, photos // 5 Comments »

Every month about this time, as I dangle in the limbo that is post-bill paying and pre-paycheck, I start to think about ways to save money.  I usually chalk it up to the expense of having four kids.  That sounds daunting, doesn’t it?  FOUR KIDS…  cue scary Halloween music…

Then, I saw the  The Duggar Family

Here they are with their 17 kids, and have just announced on their blog that number 18 is on the way.  As they say in Palin Country, “bless their hearts.”  I only have four kids, and it’s all I can do to get a meal on the table.

After hearing that they are debt free (!) I realized I was being a financial wimp and had to think like a Duggar.  Here’s what I found, in just a few minutes of searching online:

• You can download a free version of iWork software from Apple — I was about to purchase it, but now I have 30 days to get my Christmas letter written etc. for free.  I will buy it after the trial period if the program serves my needs, but now I’ll have that time to budget and pay cash if I really want it.  
• By searching on a company name and then “coupon code,” you can get a discount on just about anything.  I found free shipping EVERYWHERE and the holiday cards I wanted were 10% off using a coupon code.  I searched on “tiny prints coupon code” to get this discount.
• Instead of driving all over town to find the wood cleaner I love (Swiffer Dust & Shine), I found it at drugstore.com with free shipping.  No hassle.  No gas money.  My time is worth something!
• You can download free, customizable chorecharts for your family everywhere.  Or, there’s an online system called HandiPoints which is absolutely free, and pretty fun for the kids.

Leaving Comments is FREE!  No Coupon Code Required…

Tags: Random, TV, linky love, spendy // 6 Comments »

Cake is one of THE most important parts of a family birthday.  I don’t think it feels like a celebration without the ceremonial dimming of lights, singing of song, and a great big wish.  Besides:  I like cake.

My kids each have their favorites, except for my son (11).  He prefers a good chewy brownie with ice cream, and I can’t say we suffer…    Even TheMayor, who eschews desserts, loves lemon cake on his birthday — the more lemon the better.

My mother-in-law usually makes a lemon sheet cake with lemon icing, and he loves it with a little vanilla bean ice cream and berries.  This year, his mom is out of town, so I decided not to risk ruining her recipe and found a recipe of my own to try.  A new tradition…

1-2-3-4 Lemon Cake with Lemon Curd is the cake pictured above, and the one I made for TheMayor today.  Can I tell you that it took ALL AFTERNOON to make?  Can I also tell you that the lemon curd is SO GOOD I would gladly eat a spoonful every day of my life if I could?

Serious yum factor.

The name of this old-fashioned cake comes from the simple formula used for measuring the main ingredients: one cup butter, two cups sugar, three cups flour, and four eggs. - Martha Stewart

Tags: I'll eat anything., Random // 6 Comments »

Dorothy: Now which way do we go? 
Scarecrow: Pardon me, this way is a very nice way. 
Dorothy: Who said that? 
[Toto barks at scarecrow] 
Dorothy: Don’t be silly, Toto. Scarecrows don’t talk. 
Scarecrow: [points other way] It’s pleasant down that way, too. 
Dorothy: That’s funny. Wasn’t he pointing the other way? 
Scarecrow: [points both ways] Of course, some people do go both ways. 

You have to read between the lines, but this is my PSA to Vote No on Prop 8!  Live and let live, people…

Tags: I am rated G, adoption, movies, photos, politics // 3 Comments »

Voting is good for your soul. 

Tags: politics // 4 Comments »

Chocolate Chip Pancakes

TheMayor is a busy guy.  He coaches sports, he’s on the City Council, and has several other commitments that keep him out late at night.  I don’t ask questions.

I realize a lot of you have spouses or partners that have commitments, but in your case I hope your better half isn’t the family cook.  Because the first thing my kids ask each night is, “Will Dad be home for dinner?”  They know that they’re in for a microwave-pasta-toaster-crockpot adventure if not.

Tonight, I decided to take one for the team and do their favorite Mom meal; Breakfast for Dinner.  This is just a fancy name for phoning it in, but I have a secret weapon.  

The Chocolate Chip Pancake.  Here’s the kicker:  you have to use an entire bag of chocolate chips, and you must serve whipped cream with them.

I usually add some sausages or other hearty fare, so they don’t vomit from the sugar.  We also had orange juice tonight, which is unusual.  I’m not a fan of giving them a lot of juice, but this was a special non-occasion.

I do it for the ego boost.  You shoulda’ heard them tonight.  TheLittles gasped when I whipped out the whipping cream.  TheBigs know a good thing when they see it and were extra-helpful in the cleanup…  especially after one of the cakes flipped on to my bare foot and I suffered a chocolate burn.

TheMayor called mid meal to check on me, and my son answered the phone.  When asked how dinner was, he replied, “Mom’s a Chef!”

You betcha.

Studies have shown that leaving comments aids digestion.  They are my studies.  I am Aunt Jemima, and I approve of this message.

Tags: I'll eat anything. // 6 Comments »

Presenting a new video from those guys I have no right to listen to, mainly because it makes my teenager uncomfortable. Try it, you might like this one.

NKOTB called.  They’d like you to leave a comment…  Do the JoBros have the “Right Stuff?”

Tags: celebritoxic, music, video // 3 Comments »

Well, now I’ve seen everything.  I’m flipping through coupons in our local paper this morning, hoping for a sale on toilet paper and whatnot, and what do I find?  An ad for this:

At the bargain price of $149, you can pick up a paternity test along with your grocieries.  No more pesky court dates!  Here are the simple steps as outlined in their ad:

1. Use cheek swabs to collect DNA samples.
2. Send samples in our postage-paid mailing envelope.
3. Results will be made available in 3-5 days.

Studies have shown that Baby Daddies prefer comments.  Leave one today, in lieu of DNA.

Tags: Random, spendy // 7 Comments »

yo palin, i’m out!

Tags: TV, celebritoxic, palin, politics, video // 3 Comments »

Tags: TV, celebritoxic, linky love, palin, politics, video // 5 Comments »

Well, I love to hate to say, “I told you so,” but guess who won Project Runway?  That’s right, it was just as I predicted last week…

Spoiler Alert:  Don’t click over if you don’t want to know who won!

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Tags: TV, celebritoxic // 4 Comments »

Tags: photos // 5 Comments »

“Mom, the basketball coach was kind of mad tonight.”

What do you mean?

“He swore at us.”

What happened?

“We were talking, and he said, ‘Shut up, I didn’t volunteer for this s**t.’”

Hmm…  I let this marinate overnight.

This morning, the coach sent email out to the team saying our Gym time will be 6-8pm, which he feels is fine, because we all need to get used to our kids staying up late now that they’re getting older.  They’re 11.

Parenting advice from Coach Bully?  No.  I emailed back:

“Speaking of our kids getting older, I think you may be mistaken about what they’re ready for.  My son told me you were swearing at practice last night, and I could only assume he needs his ears checked, because I can’t imagine that would take place at a CYO sponsored event.  He also mentioned you were yelling, and I’m sure you’d agree that it’s a technique destined to fail if you are trying to motivate the kids.”

Oh.  Yes.  I.  Did.

TheMayor was MORTIFIED.  He is a coach himself, and he tells me they’ve all let things slip and blahblahblah I spoil my little boy yaddayadda.  Phhht.  Bite me.  

We pay for him to play, I trust the coach when I leave my son with him for those two hours, and I wanted him to know that I’m watching.  I see him, just like I can see Russia from my  house.  

And that’s all I have to say about that.

Tags: I am rated G // 9 Comments »

When you’re addicted to Diet Pepsi, you find yourself up alone at night watching bad so-so movies. All hopped up with nowhere to go, so to speak.

Tonight is one of those nights, two Pepsis in, and I’ve already watched Biloxi Blues and am now in the midst of Peggy Sue Got Married. Remember that one? It’s from 1986, the year I graduated high school. Shut up, that is NOT so long ago. Just a quick 22 years ago. Like a heartbeat.

That’s just what the movie is about, by the way. Time.  If you haven’t seen it, here’s a speedy synopsis:  Kathleen Turner plays a woman who passes out at her high school reunion, and wakes up in her high school body.  She gets to revisit all of her friends, see her parents again, go back to her childhood home… and although it’s a comedy, there are lots of touching moments.  For example, she answers the phone to hear her grandmother in one scene, when her grandmother has been dead for years.  The movie stars a young Nick Cage, Helen Hunt and Jim Carrey…  that’s a flashback within a flashback.

When I saw this movie for the first time, I was only (gulp) 18 years old, and took it at face value.  Seeing it tonight, at… 40?  I get the joke.  Can you imagine what it would be like to go back to Senior Year, even if it was just for a day?  If I close my eyes, I can see every square inch of my childhood home.  I remember my school, my locker, my favorite TV shows.  What a gift going back would be.  What would I do differently?  Probably a lot of things, but I think I’d just make new mistakes in their place.

Wrapping my brain around 40 has been nearly impossible.  I think everyone, from my age on, thinks just as much about the past as they do the future.  We’re in this weird limbo-timewarp.  I know it’s my kids’ time, but I see them going through things I feel I went through myself just a moment ago.  Parenting is the ultimate, “fake it ’til you make it” gig.

There was just the newness of it all, that’s what I noticed as I watched the movie.  First job, first love, first up all night, first girlfriends and secrets.  Peggy Sue got married, and so did I.  As much as I miss 1986?  I wouldn’t change a thing.  Peggy Sue knew that too, and finally went back to present day.

Personally…  I’m getting around to it.  I’m in no hurry to get back to being 40 when the movie ends.  I’ll have to sleep on that.

[Peggy Sue hands in her algebra test] 
Mr. Snelgrove: And what’s the meaning of this, Peggy Sue? 
Peggy Sue: Well, Mr Snelgrove, I happen to know that in the future I will not have the slightest use for algebra, and I speak from experience. 

Tags: TV, computer, deep thoughts // 6 Comments »

Every time Elisabeth Hasselbeck opens her mouth, Obama’s approval rating goes up…  and that’s all I have to say about that.

Tags: TV, politics // 5 Comments »

I just finished watching the first of two parts of the Project Runway Season 5 Finale. Kenley is going to Bryant Park! Kenley, the one who has nothing nice to say about anyone or anything… the snark, the whine, the entitled attitude…

I actually liked both the wedding and bridesmaid dresses she created for this challenge (above).  I am starting to come around in the Kenley department, especially because I do love the retro. But, how can they let such an argumentative snit go through? Yech!

OK, it’s possible that I see some of myself in Kenley.  Maybe.  Probably… Definitely.  But, you know, I am not running for Vice President top designer.

P.S.  Here’s a look at the collection I believe will ultimately win…  ClickMe

Tags: Random, contests and giveaways, photos, vacation // 7 Comments »

Well, you’re all on the edge of your laptops to find out just who will be winning a $20 e-certificate from The Great That Girl Giveaway… oh, whatever.  Let’s get on with it.

We ultimately ended up making paper bag puppets of Kai Lan and Ho Ho from the Nick Jr. show, “NiHao Kai Lan,” along with noisemakers. The noisemakers were the bigger hit:  two paper plates laced together with ribbon and filled with navy beans to make noise when they shake them.  And boy, did they shake them…

Here is the comment that inspired our craft:

Consider making maracas. You can make them from drinkable yogurt containers and macaroni, rice, beans, etc. Use colored electrical tape to close them and then kids can paint or decorate. They can be made in a matter of minutes and my five year old still uses his from a year ago. They are pretty cool!

Thank you to Stacie Haight Connerty!   Your $20 Amazon e-certificate is on its way to the email you left in your post.  Please contact me at shuey6@mac.com if you have any problems retrieving or redeeming it.  Check back and let me know how you chose to spend your amazing gift… whoops, I’m hyping again.  What I mean is, “enjoy!”

Tags: contests and giveaways // 3 Comments »

Palin/Biden SNL video…  click over, it’s too true to be funny.

Tags: Random // 5 Comments »

Thank you for the terrific ideas!  

The winner will post on Monday 10/6/08

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Raise your hand if you understand the terms of the financial bailout.  OK, now keep it raised, so I can find you and ask a bunch of questions.

I got nothin.’ All I know is fear, and loathing and dread and other words that say it’s going to be a Charlie Brown Bailout over here in ThatGirl World:

I’m not usually a “sky is falling” kind of girl. I like to compare this to Y2K.  Remember that?  When the calendar turned to the year 2000 the computers were all going to rise up and conquer the universe.  All of our bank records would be gone, we were going to run out of water…  I did nothing, I thought it was ludicrous.  And, it was.  Not because I’m sooo smart, but because I had a 50-50 shot at being right and the odds were on my side that day.

I knew people that were stockpiling water,  and as funny as I thought it was at the time?  I’m not too proud to beg.  Like now.  What am I begging for this time?

• A president that can keep us calm, cool and collected as he manages the crisis (Obama, can you hear me…)
• An upswing in that mystical thing called “the Dow”
• A refinance of this mortgage weighing me down like chains on my neck.  Canada, anyone?
• Continued employment for my husband
• A future for my kids that includes college
• Something like Y2K.  A lot of hullaballoo but no consequences.

I don’t have the answers.  Just don’t pull my football away, Lucy.  Failure Face is not an option.

Aaaaarrrrrggghhh!

Nine out of ten commenters live longer. Post a comment…  the life you save may be your own.

Tags: politics, spendy // 6 Comments »

This is my son’s new goldfish, which he won at Oktoberfest yesterday.  I say, “won,” because he paid the carney $5 for it when he couldn’t win outright.  He was sooo surprised that the guy took the deal.  Yeah.  I am sure goldfish are a hot commodity on Wall Street, right up there with home loans and lines of credit.

But I digress.

This is the first goldfish we’ve had in our household of four kids, which is pretty amazing.  Amazing being a relative term, because if you knew me?  I kill things.  Not in a cold-blooded way, but let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be the goldfish swimming in that tupperware bowl right now.  I have a history with some hamsters.

The problem is, I find animals unsanitary.  I can’t stand to see them swimming around in their own filth.  So, in 18 hours, the goldfish has already had his bowl changed.  Twice.  The thing with fish?  They don’t like temperature changes.  The new water has to be the same temp as the old, so they can adjust.  Well, I think it was the same temperature, but the little panting fish at the bottom of the bowl?  Seems a little stressed.  Like Heather Locklear stressed.

I just don’t want the rap.  If the fish wants to find Nemo,  let him do it when my son is home from school overfeeding him.

Oh, Goldie, I hardly knew ye…

Stop global warning!  Leave a comment.  It’s the Green thing to do.

Tags: Random // 3 Comments »

Tags: TV, celebritoxic, politics, video // 3 Comments »

This morning I saw THIS in my site meter: